(For those unfamiliar with the Buddhist precepts, the fifth one is to avoid intoxicants.)
When I first took refuge, I thought the fifth precept would be the easiest one for me. Actually, I assumed I wouldn’t even have to think about it. I grew up in a family with an alcoholic parent and, as a result, chose to avoid what I labeled intoxicants (alcohol, illegal drugs) altogether. I had incorrectly concluded that the intoxicants were the primary cause for most of my childhood suffering and figured that if I didn’t engage in them, I would eliminate my suffering.
Here I am, some four decades later, still working on eliminating my suffering. After attending teachings on refuge and the lay precepts, I learned the word “intoxicant” can refer to a great many things. Intoxicant, in my dictionary, is defined as “intoxicating or exhilirating.” Through the living of my life, I have come to recognize it as an addictive activity or state of being that leads me to behave in negative ways. There are many things in life that can be exhilirating or lead to a negatively altered state of mind without me having to drink or ingest anything.
When I was young, the way I escaped suffering was to read. Reading, that’s a good thing, yes? Parents encourage it. Teachers encourage it. The thing is I didn’t just read. In my mind I was living whatever I read which was usually a fictional novel. To get my attention, someone would have to actually touch me because even when they yelled at the top of their lungs in my face, while I was reading, I didn’t hear them. I read while walking to school and walking home which, given my level of immersion, seems like risky behavior to me now. I read when I was supposed to be doing my homework which led to poor grades and nearly failing my senior year in high school.
Ultimately, thinking about what an “intoxicant” actually is and working to identify them in my life has been the true gift of taking this precept. Now the activities I work hardest to counter are watching television and playing games (mostly online roleplaying games). These “intoxicants” not only rob me of time better spent but they also frequently result in negative behavior when I feel I’m being interrupted from an exhilirating pursuit. Running away or distracting myself from what is in front of me, which seems to be the goal of most intoxicants, just hasn’t work for me in the long run. So the precept I thought would be one I could virtually ignore has turned into probably the most significant of all.
