Have you ever truly felt content? I am not talking about how you feel when watching television, reading a book, crafting, working or attending a gathering. The moments I am speaking of are those when you are not doing anything at all, with no distractions.
Recently we started meditating as a family. Before our meditation, we read one of the sections in Wherever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn to help us bring to mind why we are sitting together. Last nights section was “Capturing Your Moments” and suggested ’an eddy of dissastifaction with what we are seeing or feeling in that moment’ as the reason for our lapses in awareness. In our desire to feel content, we act to change our present moment by doing something.
The problem, for me, is that the actions I engage in to change my present moment are usually more distraction than productive. This only perpetuates my sense of dissatisfaction and can even increase it.
Much of my approach, to date, has been to keep myself distracted so I don’t have to feel uncomfortable. I can get very focused when I am in the midst of a task, particularly if I am reading. I spent a great deal of my youth running away from my life by jumping into books.
The last few days I’ve been attempting a meditation on my precious human life and I haven’t gotten through a whole session yet. “Small steps,” I keep telling myself. Eventually I will make it through. Make it through to what? Is contentment really coming up somewhere along this path I am traveling?
